The Ellipsis

Giving to Get & Not Giving to Not Get

2011-05-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling you get right after you say something that you did not intend to say? It feels a bit like shooting a jumpshot and knowing it's going to miss as soon as you let it go, or swinging at a hanging pitch and knowing you popped it up as soon as you make contact. And while it may feel like that... it usually isn't that, at all. In revisiting these tourrettes moments, I often realize that my only mistake was honesty. For me, shared language, whether spoken or written, is so tightly tied to my emotions that the culprit for my misspeech is almost always either memory or alcohol. So if I said it I meant it... And because that is how I am, I tend not to believe it when others claim to be otherwise.

The other day I was telling a friend of mine that I think of her as the most "human" of people I know. To that she asked, "what do you mean?" Though she was aware that the word human is used as a number of parts-of-speech, certainly as either noun or adjective, she was only really comfortable with it's use as a noun. As she was well aware, "human" as an adjective essentially means to be human-like; to exhibit charactistics that are, or should be, characteristic of humans. So her question to me was, at its core, what characteristics are, or should be, characteristic of humans and how and why do you feel that I exhibit those traits. I found myself as unclear as she was, so I spent some time trying to figure out what I meant. Had I misspoke? Again, probably not.

My immediate response was part of the truth: I told her that she has an incredible capacity for empathy. Despite having seen many of her friends do and say plenty of things for which many others would judge and probably distance themselves from, she always seemed to be able to put herself in their shoes. She seems capable of comprehending anyone's subjectivity... She has a sincere belief in both the power of personality and the moral neutrality of people; she practices a sort of super-personalized relativism and is able to, quite effortlessly, disassociate moral value from the human decision making process. In other words, she can understand how other people come to act as they do because they are the complicated people that they are, rather than understanding their actions as those of a good or bad person.
Digging further... I found myself wrapping my arms around more of the truth. Stuck on this idea of moral neutrality, I began to consider that moral neutrality is a bit of a hypnotizing concept. How can one judge something so nonjudgmental? Well, why not? Perhaps too little of something is just as bad as too much. Perhaps people don't judge because they don't want to be judged... the brother who gets his siter a barbie so that she'll get him a GI Joe... or better yet the guy who never asks how many she's slept with... it's giving to get, and not giving to not get. Why can't we just be...

Dope Video...

2010-06-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

http://vimeo.com/12449882

FACEBOOK IS EQUAL PARTS CONVENIENCE & INCONVENIENCE

2010-04-23T08:12:00.001-07:00

With every mode of communication made common in our new world, there are new arenas in which the emotional games and wars that humans play and wage are won and lost.

Sympathies, Strength or Weakness???

2010-04-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to recount the number of times I've heard people express frustration stemming from incidences when expressions of their sympathies have led to people taking advantage of them. People proverbially "mistake kindness for weakness" everyday. Often times the full picture is a little bit more complex. These complaints are often better characterized by people percieving their own selfish behavior as pro-social (actions motivated by altruism), or people perceiving their own pro-social behavior as something other than weakness. See, if it were not weakness, it would not have exposed you to the exploitation motivating your complaint... And purely altruistic behavior connotes an understanding of the intended beneficiary(ies)'s plight that more than likely justifies/explains the pain of exploitation. Sympathy, though a beautiful and essential part of life, is weakness.

Understanding a woman's past does not mean you can deal with the scars that past has inflicted upon her. Your inner-social worker may aim to improve her, or may perceive her growth as an enjoyable spectacle to be audience to, but your own weaknesses may render your coexistence with that woman unbearable for you...(Ellipsis)...

What women want!

2010-03-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

This is no secret... women want attention. The female desire for that central location in the universe is often misunderstood though, or at least discussed in language full of miscues and misnomers. Women don't want to be the center of THE universe, they want to be the center of the universes within the minds of those they are consumed by and preoccupied with. With that I would argue that fame, as an end, is at heart a masculine goal, that is yearned for by women as a vicarious experience... Women seem to seek fame to impress upon those closest to them their value... often out of a desire to prove naysayers wrong and impress people that are important to them rather than the almost colonial desire for expanded influence and exaltation that many men are driven by. So I would argue that the unbending linguistic laws of the "man's world" rear their blunt and imprecise head in the discourse concerning female ambition...

Thus fame becomes another launch point for identifying what fuels the female experience... While men seem to remain focused on THE universe shared by us all, women seem to understand this shared universe as a more fractious conglomeration of universes owned and governed by the subjective experiences of us all, from ant to homo-sapien, from Andrew to Zachary, we each have a WORLD of sorts. To a woman, each of our worlds form 4 dimensional venn-diagrams as our experiences collide, with the four dimensions being shared time, chemistry, objective value or "on paper" credentials, and subjective interpretation of physical beauty... (TBC - ELLIPSIS)

Apologies to Tomorrow for My Yesterdays...

2010-02-26T06:26:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry, tomorrow... Today has been about realizing that I made a lot of mistakes yesterday.

Those who came before us that offer us advice really do know stuff... my parents, for instance, offered me, through a series of suggestions, demands, and asswhoopings, a path toward their version of success. They saw themselves as my life-GPS telling me when and which way to turn en route to success... But that's not actually what they were. They were far less state of the art. They were much more like maps illustrating the location of failure, drawn with the natural ink of parental concern to help me avoid peril. Fear mongerors, they were. They would say, "Do you want to end up in jail, son?"

And frankly, their fear mongering brought upon me the feeling of vertigo, as Milan Kundera describes it: Is vertigo the fear of falling? "No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of emptiness below us, which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves."

As a parent... I will propose a right way, as the only way.

-JH

2010-01-29T11:48:00.000-08:00

The world continues to spin on it's axis, and rotate elliptically around the sun... the oceans continue to inch up onto our shores... suns still shine, hearts still beat, new children are still born... the cycle of existence continues...
The wind may move rocks, streams may wear stones to pebbles, and changing seasons may bring leaves to the knees of trees they once ornamented, but the only independent things that ever really change are the minds of men. We live, love, lose, and most importantly, we learn. With how we value education in today's world, it may seem counter-intuitive to suggest that life's lessons are moments when the world's many malices manifest. How negative, one might think? But life's infinite dualities emerge in our lessons, as our own enlightenment occurs with the equal and opposite darkening of our sense of truth... our enlightenment may, in fact, be better described as the beclouding of our senses; our minds darken, as they bring light upon the pitfalls of our life’s journey.
As I experience my own personal beclouding, I realize that comprehension/social maturity is to moments of disappointment as molecules are to atoms... The Neucleus of these atoms is, tragically, good intention... The buzz of life's electrons creates confusion, which becomes bad situation. Whether it's love life of loss, it's all eventually lost.

The World Today...

2009-10-19T15:52:00.000-07:00

It's one of those news days offering so little that CNN is still covering the faux near-death balloon story. Great... So I guess the latest significant, albeit ridiculous, thing that happened in domestic news was Obama's Nobel Peace Prize... and no he didn't deserve it. Since that's a dated story, my only two options here are looking outside this American bubble I feel so trapped in, or not writing about "news" at all. Eenie meenie minie... no wait... see, the problem with bloggers, often times, is that we want people to read our stuff. We want EVERYBODY to read our stuff... so we end up approaching our writing like popular musicians approach their "art." To write when one does not actually want to write... when one just wants to be read is, frankly, what I'm doing right now. Writing as a means to an end is trash...

After some soul searching...

The Half-Sentence

2009-10-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty ashamed of my growing impatience, although I don't think I'm wrong to blame it on the techie world. You know that ridiculous feeling you get when you are chatting with someone online... someone you find yourself uniquely infatuated with... or about some juicy, or particularly thought provoking shit... and they write half a sentence then press enter, then their boss calls on the phone and has them doing some work-related stuff for a half-hour. After about a minute or so of waiting you realize that the person got pulled off to do something, although the thought crosses your mind that the person may have realized that they don't want to say whatever they were going to say... so they stop themselves and try and complete the sentence in a less harmful way. What could it be, you think? and then...

What's the point?

2009-10-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

Everyday I ask myself this question at least once... and usually more like once an hour: what the fuck is the point? As I began writing this blog entry, the question crossed my mind... and I asked myself the question twenty minutes ago as I went through my wardrobe in search of some outfits to wear to work this week. The question has only one real answer...

An ode to my uncle... Turning 60.

2009-07-26T16:01:00.002-07:00

Family is like a cast from a play. Everyone has a role to act out. There is the protagonist, the good guy, or central character or group of characters for which the audience is meant to feel most sympathetic; there are supporting characters, cast members who assist in the progression of a story; and then there are the antagonists who operate in direct opposition to the protagonist(s); and so on. The major difference between a family and a play’s cast, aside from the obvious real vs. fiction distinction, is the fact that members of a family seem to swap roles from time to time. The father is sometimes the protagonist, toiling away at work and fighting to bring home the proverbial “bacon.” Sometimes, the father is a supporting character assisting the mother in her tireless efforts to provide for the children, as she assumes the protagonist role. Then other times, the father becomes the antagonist, doing things that are counter to the ultimate goals of the family unit. Our role in the cast of family is dictated not only by the branch we occupy in the family tree, i.e. are we the youngest brother, the father, or the oldest daughter, but also by the kinds of choices we make in life.
Despite my agnosticism, I have always felt that our family was incredibly blessed; like there was an angel on the top of our family tree. As the oldest, you have operated in close proximity to her. You have been a role model for your siblings and their children, many of whom have wanted to follow your lead and become lawyers, as have Kamilah and Nkem (and perhaps me, one day), attend Carlton, as did my father, and attend Northwestern, as has Michael (and perhaps me, one day, hehe). From your position on our family tree, you have been able to have a profound impact on what kinds of choices other branches were making. Because of you, other branches have flowered in your image. Presumptuous as it may sound to assume that I can start playing casting director here, but I am taking it upon myself to grant you a spot on the security council, as one of very few permanent members of our family’s “board of protagonists”… not just because you are the oldest child of a great man, but also because you have been a great man yourself. To 40 more years!!!

An ode to my uncle... Turning 60.

2009-07-26T16:01:00.001-07:00

Thoughts from Memory Lane

2009-05-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I drove down to Charlottesville to meet up with an old college friend. As soon as I got to my college home, I felt this tidal wave of nostalgia grip me in it's undertow... I felt like I was drowning in it all weekend. "DROWNING???" you may ask. Well, drowning is a helpless, out of control feeling brought on by immersion in water. I was immersed in memories and, frankly, old habits. It was, at once, a reminder of how far I've come, and how much further along I should be...

As I drove to my buddy's new house on the outskirts of Charlottesville, we passed by the Charlottesville Jail, which I had spent some time in a few years back. As we pulled up to the house and walked on in, I was impressed by the house, how well put-together and how well-kept it was. John had really done something with himself.

I settled in a bit and then we started to talk about John's business, my work, Dean's work, life in Charlottesville, life for us who'd moved back to D.C., and other regular let's-catch-up topics. As the pleasantries concluded, our conversation drifted to how we've changed and grown up quite a bit. We would be having kids soon, we all agreed, and we'd be getting married. With those changes on the horizon, we would have to make of our lives a stage, with all the appropriate props, for the scenes of our adulthood to take place. There would be no smoking, no binge drinking, no excessive cursing... at least not on stage, right. And this eerie conversation seemed to set the stage itself, in a way, for a night of drinking and smoking... somehow, us acknowledging that we would have to grow up soon was like an excuse shielding us from those responsibilities for the night...

Or maybe it was another kind of stage-setting altogether; the development of another sideshow that all men need... a place where youth can be reenacted. This stage is adorned with stripper poles, neon lights, call girls, alcohol, drugs, and only one rule: what happens on-stage stays there.

Sometimes I feel like the gender divide is as simple as this: women live to look young again, and men live to feel young again...(Ellipsis)

In Treatment

2009-05-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

That's the title of the mixtape I'm currently working on, to be released right here for your download... (Ellipsis)

KOBE'S A DIVA

2009-05-12T10:48:00.001-07:00

The strangest moment of the NBA playoffs took place during Game 3 of the Lakers-Rockets series, when Kobe Bryant hit an 18-foot turnaround jumper from the left elbow with Shane Battier's right hand in his face. Bryant immediately began shaking his head with a look that indicated he smelled something really bad. This -- as you know -- is Kobe's dismissive face, the one he now makes after nearly every basket.
But that wasn't the strange part -- after all, how can something be strange when it happens anywhere from 10 to 25 times a game? The strange part came afterward, when he started back downcourt and turned to the TNT broadcasters at center court and yelled toward commentator Doug Collins.
[+] Enlarge
Ronald Martinez/Getty ImagesWe get it Kobe, no one can guard you. Now keep quiet and play the game.
"He can't guard me," Bryant said. Shaking his head, his mouth curled downward in a semicircle of disgust, he stared down Collins and said it again, "He can't guard me."
There was a pause on the broadcast. OK, that was meant for us, you could almost hear them thinking. So ... what do we say now? They couldn't ignore it, because it was clear to everyone watching that they were taken aback and that Kobe was the reason. Kevin Harlan acknowledged that Kobe was targeting Collins, one of the most even and knowledgeable minds in the game. When Harlan asked his partner what it was all about, Collins sounded genuinely perplexed. "I'm not sure," he said, and they quickly and quietly moved on.
And that's the deal about Kobe: None of us is sure. How can a guy with that much talent play with such little joy? Why does he feel he has to put on that phony tough-guy show all the time? Underneath all that pre-fab armor, who is he? Does he even know?
It's sad, maybe, but Kobe will never be appreciated in a manner commensurate with his ability. He's in the process of turning himself into an antihero. (In many respects, he is similar to Alex Rodriguez, another tin-eared superstar.) Everything he does reeks of insecurity, which is a really weird trait for a guy who -- along with LeBron James -- is a once-a-decade basketball talent.
Unlike LeBron, though, Kobe can't let his game speak for him. He has to accentuate everything with the facial expressions and the dismissiveness. It's not enough for him to beat someone; he feels compelled to belittle that person in the process. That's why one of the best things about the Lakers-Rockets series -- and, really, it's turning into a 700-page novel -- has been Shane Battier's reaction to Kobe's antics. And that reaction is this: zero. None. He acts as though he can't hear or see any of it.
Hey, Kobe, we know you're great. You know you're great. Shane Battier knows you're great. How about letting someone else say it first every once in a while? The way it works now, you're telling us so often that we're getting tired of it. Let us be the judge of whether someone can or cannot guard you. It's pretty self-explanatory, to Doug Collins and everybody else.
You see, I want to be able to enjoy Kobe's talent. I want to see it the way I see LeBron's: transcendent, mostly pure and emanating outward. It probably will never happen, though. Kobe won't let it.
For a guy with such a constant flow of creativity running through his game, it's amazing to see how calculated he is about his image. He comes across as though he's reading a script, and he's all wrong for the part (maybe Alan Alda reading a part meant for Harvey Keitel). There are just too many false notes, and the worst part is, he actually seems to believe this is what people want from him. This is the persona he has cultivated, and he's going with it no matter what. It's really kind of sad.
And this is where Kobe veers from the arrogant antihero routine perfected by someone such as Barry Bonds. Bonds didn't care what you thought about him. He thrived off the anger he generated. But this preening, jaw-jutting, head-shaking character is what Kobe believes people want.
Maybe it's his attempt to answer the questions of the Lakers' toughness. I don't know, but in the playoffs, his performances generally follow one of two themes: (1) He takes over the game and taunts everybody in sight, demanding that all acknowledge his greatness or (2) he steps back and intentionally doesn't take over a game, in which case his attitude seems to be, "See what they look like without me?" Either way, it's a tough act to embrace.
In the wake of Sunday's Game 4 disaster, when Battier and Ron Artest did guard Kobe -- and after which Magic Johnson said the Lakers defiled the team's honor -- it's a good bet Kobe will be at his contrived best in Tuesday night's Game 5. He'll probably dominate, and he'll undoubtedly let us know.
But here's a radical idea: Stop with the smugness and the arrogance. Play your game and let your talent speak for itself. You might not know this, but it does a much better job than you do. And if you're not going to enjoy what you bring to the court, at least give us half a chance.
ESPN The Magazine senior writer Tim Keown co-wrote Josh Hamilton's autobiography, "Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back," which is available on Amazon.com. Sound off to Tim here.

Friggin' Divas...

2009-04-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

Divas... Oh how I hate to harbor the disdain I have for you... but I harbor it anyways, and I can't help it.

Because... Lying to yourself about your self-worth is downright damnable. These divas and their shameless cognitive dissonance... at once, so self obsessed that they notice all of their flaws and have become conscious enough of them to get all wobbly-headed and finger-shaking whenever anyone such as seems to notice one of them, yet so over-the-top about how awesome they are that they, and the legions like them who have fallen in love with the makeup that these two syllables (Di-Va) provide, actually say stuff like, "I'm a Diva"... even when they can't sing. How many of you know what a diva really is. 'A diva is a celebrated female singer. The Italian term is used to describe a woman of rare, outstanding talent in the world of opera. ' Forget the real meaning, most of you chicks aren't even cool... and, your proclamation of divahood makes you much worse. The self obsession that points out your flaws and makes you self-conscious is the same general self-centered-ness that engenders these hollow diva claims. Choose one, self-conscious or conceited. All the nonsense has me dizzy as a Salvadore Dali painting. You're a diva huh? DESPITE YOURSELF...

But (and we all know that all great arguments are like good women in that they have massive, uningnorable but(t)s) perhaps this is not such a bad thing... at least not at first glance. It is when you give that diva a chance to tell you about themselves that the good evaporates.

In our transient world... where so many people we come in contact with, we never see again, makeup motivates people to improve themselves. The makeup that we all wear, man and woman alike, be it the stuff we put on our faces to hide blemishes, the clothes we wear that 'compliment' our figure, the way we have taught ourselves to walk or shake hands to exude confidence, or how we have altered our speaking voice to make ourselves more attractive/professional, serves as an advertisement for our understanding of perfection. When I see someone's bright red LV shoes that I like, I might go out and get some just like it. When I see someone's abs (I think this is when I'm supposed to say 'no homo'), I might hit the gym harder so I can get mine like that. Negative things can have the same effect. Seeing the fat dude coming out of mcdonald's could send me to the gym just as quick as an underarmour commercial (no homo again?). But... there is definitely a difference between the subtlety of wearing, speaking, or walking in a way that we think is attractive and the brash act of announcing one's diva (or "the man") status from the hilltops.

I suggest that we all be fly in silence... (ellipsis)

The Origin of AIDS

2009-04-29T12:23:00.001-07:00

Firstly, I'd like to recommend the website www.documentary-film.net. It's great; it has a ton of interesting documentaries on it.

If the origin of AIDS is of any interest to you, check out the following documentary: http://www.documentary-film.net/search/watch-now.php?&ref=5

... (ellipsis)

Where is John Galt?

2009-04-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/books/04/27/ayn.rand.atlas.shrugged/index.html

... (ellipsis)

Taliban in Pakistan

2009-04-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

The Taliban—from the Arabic word for student, “taleb”—are fundamentalist Sunni Muslims, mostly from Afghanistan’s Pashtun tribes. The Taliban dominates large swaths of Afghanistan and a large part of Pakistan’s Federally Administered Tribal Areas.
The Taliban seek to establish a puritanical caliphate that neither recognizes nor tolerates forms of Islam divergent from their own. They scorn democracy or any secular or pluralistic political process as an offense against Islam. The Taliban’s Islam, however, a close kin of Saudi Arabian Wahhabism, is far more perversion than interpretation. The Taliban’s version of Islamic law, or Sharia, is historically inaccurate, contradictory, self-serving and fundamentally deviant from prevailing interpretations of Islamic law and practice.

And they are encroaching on the capital of Pakistan, Islamabad.

... (Ellipsis)

Am I glad I left?

2009-04-22T06:28:00.000-07:00

Not that I had any choice in the matter...

I recieved an email asking me if I am glad that I left Pakistan. The email contained this link:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/04/22/pakistan.taliban/index.html

... (Ellipsis)

GOD IS NOT GREAT?

2009-04-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is not a declaration of my religious apathy... it's an ode to blasphemy, a sin personified best by the great thinker Christopher Hutchens, author of a book sharing the title of this post.

If fornication is sex as sin, Blasphemy is breath... as sin... to be alive, one must blaspheme, or at least perform it's cousin vanity's bidding. Blasphemy is no more than the public, exhibitionist cousin to vanity. Once expressed outwardly, that tendency for some to understand themselves as being larger in relation to God than the Church intends, is blasphemy. Some say blasphemy is the use of the name of one or more gods, in a manner which is considered objectionable by a religious authority. This manner is typically any usage that belittles these grand gods in such a way that they lose relative greatness to Us (I blaspheme with my capitalization) as humans. It may include using sacred names as stress expletives without intention to pray or speak of sacred matters (Christ!, for instance). It is also sometimes defined as language expressing disapproved beliefs, or disbelief. (God is not great!, for instance) "Blasphemy" may be used by extension to describe any display of gross irreverence towards any person or thing deemed worthy of exalted esteem. (The King of England, despite his Divine Right, is not right at all. Didn't he screw the Boleyn girls?) Sometimes the word "blasphemy" is used loosely to mean any profane language, for example in "With much hammering and blasphemy, the locomotive's replacement spring was finally fitted."-- cause we all know how mechanics curse, don't we? With such a diverse group of definitions for this one term... and such grave consequences for its execution: Mat. 12:31 says, “Blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men..." it looks like we are all in trouble doesn't it? Cause blasphemy is just about any shocking public expression, from cursing to making any statement challenging those who are revered.

I honor blasphemy, as an idea, for the protection it provides Us from Us (I blaspheme again); from offending the great myths that we have made about our deaths, a stage that constitutes the vast and ever-growing majority of our futures... afterall, the Bible says that if we insult these myths in any way, they will magically cease to be our future realities... instead of myth, we will be given nightmare. I have also chosen to honor blasphemy in the same general, though more sound, way that some idiots in Springfield will one day honor a "great" coach like Larry Brown, who is capable of reining in a young and wild Allen Iverson... because the word blasphemy has come to symbolize our tendency, as humans, to be controlled by fear of the unknown yet inevitable... death. It is my belief that we cannot avoid blasphemy, at least not private blasphemy (although that adjective and noun might work together in oxymoronic opposition); we are all guilty, or blessed, with our questions...

And I do not honor blashphemy in any particularly blasphemous way... I do not honor it out of defiance to Him, nor out of hatred for life or Him. I honor blasphemy as that vain self-understanding, or search therefore, that makes real discussion, thought, and discovery possible. What shocks Us piques the attention of listeners and fosters educational environments.

Our ids require a me-centric approach to life which puts God second, places Him in our eternal vanity. He lives in our shadows... it is our fear of the darkness surrounding Him that incents us to exalt Him, praise Him, even capitalize HIM. Exalting Him, who we conveniently meet in our own personal armageddons (the only kind that me and Hutch believe in) brings light to the unknown darkness of death... and no more.

Just some dumbass thoughts... (Ellipsis)

Here's to Finding what we Want

2009-04-15T07:14:00.000-07:00

So... In my time away I have been cooking up ways to give my blog some steam... I have enlisted a group of writers... two visionary mothereffers whose cups collectively runneth over with thoughts about the world... so look forward to their contributions.

As a man with the last name House, there is a sort of narcissism about my daily viewership of the show House M.D. As I watch the show, I find myself thinking, "hey, I do that too," or, "I say stuff like that all the time," in the same manner that I catch myself looking at my parents and noticing how similar I am becoming to them as I get older. Sometimes I almost feel like there's some genetic connection between House, M.D. and I although he is, for one, a caucasian male with blond hair and green or blue eyes, and, to make matters even more ridiculous, really a dude named Hugh Laurie from frigging England... both issues limiting the likelihood of any material genetic connection almost completely. There is definitely a delusionary quality to my "connection" with House, M.D. I guess it's kind of asexually Freudian, in a way; I kind of just want to be like House, M.D. He's ridiculously witty, great at figuring things out, flawed, nearly fatally, but has put himself in a position in life where his work and personality have negating moral effects... as shitty a guy as he might be, as many awful and unethical things as he might say or do to people, he's still saving lives. I'm trying to find that kind of freedom in a profession... I want my life work to be something so great that it allows me to just be who the hell I am and do what the hell I want... Here's to finding what we want... (ellipsis

What's Off Limits???

2009-04-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

The American condition is an endless war of heterogeneity, the battles of which take place wherever the races and ethnic groups mix and mingle. There are many fronts, many different warring factions, many alliances, and many different weapons used in this war. Our institutions, when effective, manage to muzzle the roar of war, but the sheer existence of many of them, affirmative action being the first example to come to mind, evidences the fact that the war wages on. This war has the same types of participants as conventional wars:

The fractious and divisive leaders: your Rush Limbaughs and Al Sharptons

The Diplomats: Those who work to advance race and ethnic relations... to end the war.

The Protesters: your me's, and anyone else challenging the validity of the "enemy" lines that the war's leaders fight to advance.

The warriors: your typical citizen who has chosen to identify solidly within the confines of one conventional American ethnic identification category.

As the great American "melting pot" heats up, we are compelled more and more to avoid conflict by thinking more thoroughly before we speak. Who can say what?: a fundamental and very American question that must be asked repeatedly during hetergenious social interaction. Adding a third dimension to this question, depth if you will, are any or all of the following ammendments: when, to whom, and how? This post seeks to foster discussion about the 4th, oft-challenged dimension: why can one say something sometimes, to some people, and in some ways, while others can not?

See the following Link: http://digg.com/d1nwrL

Corey Booker Was Invited to the Black Genius Camp (BUT I WASN'T!)

2009-03-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

During the 2008 election primary season, I learned from Geraldo Rivera that there is a black genius camp somewhere in the country where smart black folks are invited to learn how to master the American political machine. When I found this out, my first thought was, "why the hell wasn't I invited." I'd never even heard of the place... Apparently they're very secretive about who has attended the camp... it's like a black summertime skull & bones thing... but I'm pretty sure Cory Booker got an invite.

1. Kwame Kilpatrick - just because at every all-black function there's a G... (Unfortunately I hear he got kicked out because he didn't know what the price of arugala was, in fact, during an argument with Barry Obama, he contended that arugala isn't salad at all, it's the sound you make after sex ... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=arugala)

2. Barack Obama - No-brainer... I mean, it was probably his idea...

3. Deval Patrick - He's kind of the man... he made a biter of Obama? http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Geraldo_Obama_got_speeches_from_black_0222.html

4. Adrien Fenty - He's the head of the most powerful city in the world's local government...

5. Maxine Waters - just because I've met her in person... ( I admit that there should be more women on this list.)

6. Cory Booker: This guy could be the next black president... my next post examines what makes him such a stand-out.

The American Nightmare: The Blind Leading the Blind

2009-03-27T09:19:00.001-07:00

During the primary season here in D.C., it seemed like all anyone wanted to talk about was Obama, Clinton and McCain. Most of those conversations were pretty forgettable as everyone was sort of regurgitating the views of their favorite pundits. I do remember a couple of those conversations though: one conversation that truly stuck with me was at a friend of a friend's birthday party that I crashed. When I got there, I was escorted downstairs by the hostess' mother. Downstairs there were roughly 30 people, all young members of the black alumni population of one of D.C.'s Catholic private high schools, St. John's College. They were all sitting around listening to music and reminiscing about high school. I noticed immediately that my friend, who is notorious for being late, was not there yet. Since I was sort of crashing the party, I played the back a little bit trying to go unnoticed for as long as possible. I quickly decided to look for some liquor to loosen myself up and help me break in to the festivities smoothly. Luckily enough, the first person I asked was eager to run up and get a refill, so I was set.

When we got upstairs, a few people were struggling looking for wine bottle openers and cups so, as we waited for the liquor to come to us, he asked me what I thought about the election. He didn't seem terribly interested in my opinion, honestly. There seemed to be something that he really wanted to say so I gave him my quick, stock response, "I'm pretty excited about it. I wouldn't be too unhappy with any plausible result... at least Bush'll be gone." He forced a quick laugh and got right to it, "I don't want Obama to win, man. If he wins, considering how messed up shit is right now, the first black president is going to be presiding over the worst national situation in American history. How's he, or anyone, supposed to fix it. I'd rather somebody else be the fall guy." I had never really heard this opinion before and thought his point was interesting, so I sparred with him a little bit, mentioning that his point seemed to be underestimating Obama's abilities, challenging his assessment of the national situation, proposing that the health of the country is more important than the "black image" that his failure could damage, and suggesting that Obama might be someone that is truly post-racial and that, therefore, any failures that he might have wouldn't be attributed to blacks or detrimental to the "black image"... but I felt like there was something to his point. He said that he didn't think Clinton was in any way less equipped to take office, that "she's at least as experienced and she's probably just as smart and worldly, so, why don't we let her take the fall." "Wow," I remember thinking, "are things as bad as this dude is saying? Is the next president really signing up for failure?" I think it's become clear that times are just as bad as this guy thought and noone knows if Obama, or anyone else for that matter, is capable of fixing whatever is broken. But, we certainly know one thing: He will be given the credit for how our nation does over the next 4-8 years, be it good or bad. Let's not jinx ourselves by harping on every little success, and let's not say we've failed while the verdict is still out.

Yeah... before we pass judgement on whether the new administration is being effective or not, we must give them time to get things done. Some things take longer than others to accomplish. More to the point, certain things are really hard to understand, and some things may even be beyond human comprehension. Our hope, as citizens relying on the decisions made by Obama and his economic team, is that we are no longer making the 'go-with-your-gut' moves for which the last president will go down in infamy; our hope is that the powers that be truly understand the mechanics of this economy and are able to develop solutions based on science. However, our economy, with its enormous volume of transactions and all of its moving pieces, may be beyond human comprehension. The complexity of subjective human choices in the economy makes mathematical modelling of the evolving market extremely difficult (or impossible). So, despite the intelligence of Obama and his economic advisors, who include some of the brightest minds in economics, the blind is kind of leading the blind right now. Positive economics can tell you how things are, really shitty, and normative economics can't tell you anything real. Noone really KNOWS anything about the economy... Some people have THEORIES; but every economist that has a theory has a counterpart on the other side of the argument with equally good research. So we're left having to HOPE for better.

Obama is, if nothing more, an incredible story, but one has to qualify this... he's a great story SO FAR. How many times have you walked out of a movie or finished a book that you had been enjoying until you saw or read the awful ending? Obama's may turn out to be such a story: Opening Scene, the narrator asks us to live with the "Audacity of Hope" for ummm... change or something... He poetically invokes Martin Luther King, Jr. and describes Obama as the realization of the dream King once spoke of. The next scene sees Obama rise to the highest post in the land and... the rest of the story is yet to be written. All we know as yet is that the stage has been set, and it's looking like the set designer may well have Obama's tale mixed up with a modern adaptation of Dante's "Inferno". See because, taking on the role of president means alligning one's legacy with the state of the union, and things are pretty hellish right now. Obama will continue to be the American dream, but he wakes up everyday to a nightmare. But it's not really his fault... (ellipsis)

Hard Times Inaugural Post

2009-03-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

Everyone should have a blog...???

I'm not even sure if everyone should be able to vote but I should be able to... so I shall blog bitches...

TV a couple of nights ago was great... The President addressed the nation and answered questions from reporters for an hour or so in the White House. Reporters, in their endless search for the perfect, most jarring question, grilled Obama on his newly proposed budget. Questions beginning with the words"Isn't it true that your budget..." and, "Why did it take so long for you to..." were hitting Obama from every press seat in the room. To each question, Obama put forth an earnest attempt at comprehensively answering, but, each response made me question more and more if there is anything that can be done to preserve America's collective faith in our first black Commander in Chief. I decided to look into what the major factors affecting presidential approval ratings are... I found the following (and much more but, hey), "Economic hardship dramatically decreases presidential approval rating, because the president is considered the leader of America, and if we are in dire straits economically, obviously he or she has lead us there. Prolonged wars also decrease presidential approval because people don't like having their sons/daughters/husbands/wives far away from them for long periods of time. Also, it creates the image that we aren't as mighty as we like to think, and if we aren't mighty, it's because our leader isn't mighty, and therefore we don't like him."

Obviously there are some flaws in this logic, right? For one thing... the notion that the president is responsible for the current state of the economy ignores the fact that we don't live in Cuba, or Gabon, or Libya where leaders like Castro, Bongo, and Qadaffi have always been the president... there is a sort of discontinuum of responsibility here... but, we live in a society poisoned by the experience of having once had such easy access to gratification. We truly are as we so often are pegged an instant gratification society. The same ills that brought us to this terrible place: easy access to credit, a supercharged economy inflated to the point of near and eventual bust, false economic prosperity, and the greed at the heart of all of it, have conditioned America to be unreceptive to slow but steady change for the better. Even if that is the only way improvement is possible. So, if things don't MAGICALLY get better, Obama's kind of screwed. And there is no way to lead that won't have it's negative externalities... everything in the economy seems to be a compromise. You tell people things are better than they are, and they expect better results than you can deliver. Then you become the president who cried wolf come election time. You tell people things are as they are: really shitty; then things get worse because our economy has self esteem issues; it is so dependent upon its self-perception that you can't turn the light on in the bathroom. And everyone knows that MAGIC doesn't really exist. Even "Magic" Johnson proved susceptible to reality when he announced he was HIV positive and became the face of the AIDS epidemic. So, Obama's prescription for our ailing economy is, semi-ironically, fixing the health care system. I think it's clear that it's going to take a very strong PR campaign explaining exactly how this is going to help us in the future and why we aren't seeing immediate economic improvement... or goodbye to those high approval ratings. It would be awful to imagine that the condition the Bush administration left America made it impossible for next president to have any chance at a second term. But, that might be the case.

Later that night, a PBS documentary aired that laid out America's budget deficit history... The documentary made a number of interesting points. The first important point was that the Republican love affair with the hollow policies of low tax rates, tax cuts and overall fiscal unruliness typified by George Bush, Sr.'s famous words, "I repeat, no more taxes," has been the bane of America's fiscal existence. Another thing the documentary laid bear for me was that while Bush Sr.'s legacy is not entirely positive... he was intelligent and realistic enough about the American economic situation created by his heavy military spending agenda and his extensive tax cuts to renege on his campaign promises. (This is only admirable RELATIVE to his retarded son.) This was not politically popular (add maintenance of an honest political image to the list of factors affecting presidential approval ratings) and cost him a second term. But it put America in a position where it could be saved by a couple years of fiscal discipline; years that Clinton was able to bring us. "When the sins of our fathers visit us we do not have to play host," but Bush, Jr. couldn't resist. W. learned all the wrong lessons from his father's experience. People don't like to be taxed, duh... people like government spending programs that give them stuff, duh... people don't like it when you tell them you're not going to raise taxes but you do anyways... duh. W. seemed to govern with these lessons echoing in his head as he signed spending bill after spending bill and promoted tax cuts year after year. As a result, what Obama has inherited is much worse than what Clinton had to deal with... much deeper... and much scarier. Nobody knows what's going to happen in the coming years so nobody knows what all should be done to fix our economy. But America needs to be taxed more in order to build government revenues... that is clear. And, despite Obama's bold statements during the presidential campaign suggesting that Americans would have to "pitch in" to fix the economy, Obama's plan, at least as it has been publicly described, is cowardly about taxes. If it is not currently possible to increase taxes and maintain a level of consumer spending that won't seriously threaten American businesses then we, of course, should not increase taxes... YET. But, ultimately taxation is necessary in order to pay off our national debt and regain ownership of our economy. Obama's plan is, understandably, focused on fixing the leading drag on the American economy, the health care system. This is undoubtedly necessary. But other necessities have not been addressed by Obama... particularly the necessity to request of Americans to pitch in more. Obama needs to stop being so damn sheepish about tax raises... Bush Jr.'s fear of the political ramifications of paying as we go and telling it like it is are exactly why we're in this situation. The "plan" is understandably shy about asking an increasingly economically depressed work force to contribute at all. But just cause we can understand it doesn't mean it's right or okay or acceptable. We simply have to be asked for more of what we have, and we have to give it... more more more. If not, someday soon, America as we know it may no longer be.

I'm an American whose mother is Bahamian... my mother's nation will be underwater by as early as the year 2050 due to a global warming phenomenon that has been caused, largely, by my paternal nation. I would hate for my country to experience a fate of figurative equivalence to my mother's... (ellipsis)