I can't begin to recount the number of times I've heard people express frustration stemming from incidences when expressions of their sympathies have led to people taking advantage of them. People proverbially "mistake kindness for weakness" everyday. Often times the full picture is a little bit more complex. These complaints are often better characterized by people percieving their own selfish behavior as pro-social (actions motivated by altruism), or people perceiving their own pro-social behavior as something other than weakness. See, if it were not weakness, it would not have exposed you to the exploitation motivating your complaint... And purely altruistic behavior connotes an understanding of the intended beneficiary(ies)'s plight that more than likely justifies/explains the pain of exploitation. Sympathy, though a beautiful and essential part of life, is weakness.
Understanding a woman's past does not mean you can deal with the scars that past has inflicted upon her. Your inner-social worker may aim to improve her, or may perceive her growth as an enjoyable spectacle to be audience to, but your own weaknesses may render your coexistence with that woman unbearable for you...(Ellipsis)...
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Ok, so I read this and had to comment.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I applaud your ability to articulate your thoughts, even with the mellow dramatic- extensive use of the dictionary. Just joking, but I thought the point of writing was to convey a message understandable to others! I should mention: I am by no means ignorant of illustrative terminology...but if I didn't think you had a point, I would have quit all the pausing and reflecting I had to do in order to get to it. (call me "weak")
So, here are my thoughts:
"These complaints are often better characterized by people percieving their own selfish behavior as pro-social (actions motivated by altruism), or people perceiving their own pro-social behavior as something other than weakness."~I'll admit, if the actions of someone are coming from a selfish need, then yes, we can label them as "pro-social" behavior. However, I think you will find, most often, when people have this so called "weakness", their motivation is love. And, anything done out of true love for another person, should never be viewed as a weakness. Yes, it's never healthy to justify exploitation of yourself, but brother, who are we to not forgive, when we have all been forgiven? It is my claim, then in fact , that those who perceive such a marvelous strength as to love someone with patience, kindness, without being envious, or boastful, or jealous, are weak themselves. How could they possibly understand that a person who does such things must possess the power of the Holy Spirt; thus, making them of God, and endeed endowed with unexplicable power. To me, it is thoughts like yours that have corroded the thinking of man. The ironic part about it is: the justification for even loving someone who thinks like this, is the clear evidence that they no not this type of love. Yes, let me be a martyr for the type of love that endures past pain, yet is wise enough to let go before the thoughts you have expressed here corrode my thinking as well.
Please, open your mind brother.
God Bless you.
I guess my mind is so closed that I only understood about a third of that...
ReplyDeleteThe supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves.
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